Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Letter on Dress and Grooming

In celebration of the BYU-I ban of skinny jeans and in honor of totally arbitrary and ridiculous rules, I thought I'd post the following...

"A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar leaving the ear uncovered. Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, mustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean-shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are unacceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas." - BYU-Idaho Student Catalog

At first, the university had following pictures and blurbs up as examples of acceptable and unacceptable grooming... They were later removed.

Exhibit A - Acceptable

Exhibit A is quite the little overachiever. His sideburns are shaved ABOVE his ears. The rest of his is face is clean shaven, demonstrating his adoration of Heavenly Father. While he has chosen to sport a mustache, he's made sure it hasn't extended beyond the chastity line (his lips). He's also wearing a suit and tie, which is yet another sign of his love for all things upright and redeeming in the world. By his appearance we clearly see a morally chaste and god-fearing person.

Exhibit B - Unacceptable

Someone get this guy a razor and a hairstylist. When was his last shave? His hair is about as long as Riley Nelson's when he apologized to all 6 of his fans. Definitely in need of a haircut. What is he wearing? Is it like a robe or something? There's probably skinny jeans on underneath it. I bet he just came from one of BYU-I's many off-campus Toga parties. There was probably Dr. Pepper there too. I digress (I just can't stop judging this guy!).... don't be like this guy.

(Author's Note: Before anyone gets all offended, please know I do feel a little bit guilty for dirtying Kenny Rogers' good name by using his likeness on the same page as Hitler's.)


  1. Super funny and so unfortunately true.

  2. I had a sweet addition to this blasphemy. but it won't let me post pictures.